26 / 09 / 2023
6 Minute Read

Working as an Independent Escort: Should you keep it a secret?

 

Very few people surrounding an independent escort know that she does this work. Some even decided not to tell anyone. But is it sustainable over an indefinite period to choose to keep this activity secret? Is this the right thing to do? Sometimes one can be comfortable with being an independent escort girl while being reluctant to reveal it for fear of hurting or disappointing those who respect us. In this short article, we open the discussion and talk about the challenges of telling the truth to the people we care about but also the benefits of opting for transparency.

 

Choosing not to tell anyone

I don't have any statistics to give you but looking at the hundreds of escorts I have worked with and still work with, I can certify that this is the choice that many independent escorts in Switzerland make: to decide to keep this life completely secret and not tell anyone about it, not even his/her best friend. The advantage is that it allows you to continue living your life as if nothing had happened. You are not exposed to any judgment, rejection or discrimination due to this lifestyle choice. However, the disadvantages are numerous, and I will only highlight three here. The first is the feeling of loneliness which will overwhelm you very quickly if you don't have anyone who really knows you with whom you can talk to, even a little bit, about what you do. Since being an independent escort girl is both a physical and psychological job, you will at some point, need to be able to talk about the good times as well as the less pleasant times that you’re experiencing while doing this work. It is morally very difficult, even toxic, to keep all this inside because sometimes it can weigh heavily and have serious consequences on the mind. The other disadvantage is obviously safety. When you work as an independent escort in Switzerland or elsewhere, it is very important to be able to work knowing that someone always knows where you are. If no one knows anything and something happens to you (because yes, even working in the best conditions, you are never 100% safe from danger), by the time someone comes to help you it may seem to you like an eternity... Finally, the difficulty of knowing how to lead a double life can be a real challenge for many. It's a very peculiar thing when absolutely no one knows because constant lying becomes second nature...

 

Choosing to tell one or a few people

Other independent escorts make the decision to reveal their life choices to one or more people. The advantages of this decision are obvious and constitute a response to all the disadvantages (listed in the paragraph above) of not sharing anything with anyone. On the other hand, you have to be very, very careful with who you share this truth with because choosing to talk to the wrong person is a decision that could turn against you when you least expect it. Money, blackmailing (including emotional blackmail), abuse of power, jealousy, stereotypes held by society, the desire to encourage an increase in your standard of living can create very unexpected reactions from people who until now have always wished you well... How do you choose who to talk to about it? Well, only you can answer that question. I would simply advise you to choose one or more people who are close to you, who know how to keep a secret, who are rather open-minded (not someone with an overly conservative mind) and with whom you never had any major conflicts in the past. Ideally, I would rather choose to talk about it with a person of the opposite sex because jealousy between women can sometimes take on disproportionate proportions. Finally, even if one or a few people around you know the truth, as an independent escort, make sure to remain discreet in your comments (don't tell them everything), in your way of living (avoid ostentatiously showing that you have money) and in your attitude (remain faithful to what you have always been in their eyes) in order not to lose the trust and friendship (or the love) which binds this person(s) to you.

 

Choosing not to hide it from anyone

Very few are those who take charge of all aspects of their life as an independent escort. I tell them “Hats off!”. They have all my respect because it's not something that everyone can do. These women - such as Nadja Hermès for example - have chosen total transparency and sincerity. The latter works showing her face, does not use a stage name and is undoubtedly one of the most transcendent women you have ever met, Gentlemen (if you don’t know her yet, well think about it Gentlemen!). These remarkable women who chose the truth had the strength and courage to stand up against prejudice, stereotypes and discrimination. Although not living hidden is a relief for many of them, it is a choice which also has a downside: taking the risk that this truth is not accepted/understood by the people around us, such our friends, our family, our social circle for instance. Hence the risk of feeling excluded by everyone. But isn't it also a way of sorting out one's life, by simply letting come what comes and letting go what goes?

 

Should you say a word to your boyfriend/partner/husband?

This is a delicate subject on which there is no absolute truth. Some girls choose not to say anything to their partner. Some do it, still others cannot imagine doing this work without the man with whom they share their life knowing about it. This decision remains a very personal choice which cannot be judged by anyone other than the people concerned, and which depends on the intensity of the relationship, the duration of the relationship, the nature of this story... It is therefore a legitimate choice which will of course differ from one situation to another. On the other hand, here is what I would say to an independent escort who still has little experience in this industry: "True love is extremely rare. Men and women do not desire the same things, nor in the same way, nor at the same time. On the other hand, the one who truly loves you is the man who knows all your faults but continues to love you, as on the first day."

 

To sum up

Deciding whether or not to talk about your work as an independent escort in Switzerland is a personal choice. No matter what yours is, it is undoubtedly the choice that best suits you in the period of life you are currently in. This choice may or may not change. The most important thing is that it allows you to feel good about yourself and gives you some peace of mind because it is practically impossible to do this work at a high level and over a long period of time without harmony between the body and mind.

 

Janet for TheVelvetRooms

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