16 / 11 / 2025
4 Minute Read

Strap On: The popular sex toy that makes some uncomfortable

 

Those who are more traditional in their sexual relationships, and who, for instance, are into vanilla sex, have probably never had to wonder what a Strap on is, what it's used for, and why this practice is part of some people's sexual habits. In this short article, we review the essentials you need to know about Strap on.

 

Strap on: What is it?

A Strap on (or strap-on dildo) is a type of sex toy that allows one person to wear a dildo attached to a harness, enabling them to penetrate a partner during sexual activity. It’s a popular and versatile tool used by people of all genders and orientations.

 

And how does it work exactly?

Well, a Strap on typically consists of a harness (worn around the waist - and often thighs or hips -, it secures the toy in place) and dildo or penetrative attachment (often detachable and interchangeable; made of silicone, rubber, or other body-safe materials). Some modern versions use strapless designs, where the wearer holds the toy internally (via a bulb or plug) without needing a harness.

 

Is pegging a synonym for Strap on?

In the adult industry jargon, the word "pegging" is frequently encountered. Most of the time, it's associated with the term "Strap on," but it's important to note that these words have two different meanings. As I just mentioned, a Strap on is used to simulate penetration (which can be anal or vaginal) by people of any gender.

Pegging, on the other hand, is a specific sexual act that describe a woman penetrating a man anally using a Strap on dildo. While all pegging involves a Strap on (or similar tool), not all Strap on play is pegging. Meaning that a lesbian couple using a Strap on for vaginal penetration is not pegging. The same as a man using a Strap on to penetrate another man is not considered pegging. Pegging solely applies to a woman using a Strap on to penetrate a man anally.

 

Who uses a Strap on?

In the world of sex, the Strap on is used by a very large number of people, across all sexual orientations. As I’ve just explained, heterosexual couples, use a Strap on where a woman penetrates a man anally (pegging). But it is also used by lesbian couples for vaginal or anal penetration and by gay men for anal play with more control. The Strap on is also part of the sexuality of Trans or non-binary people who use it to explore gender expression or body roles. Individuals who love BDSM experiences or roleplay-based dynamics (dominance, submission, role reversal) tend to appreciate the use of a Strap on. Therefore, the use of a Strap on doesn’t imply a specific sexual orientation or identity — it’s mainly about pleasure and exploration.

 

Strap on : some love it, some hate it

What makes some people love using a Strap on while others feel repelled by this sex toy?

Strap on proponents emphasize that physical pleasure and the power dynamics that involves control, dominance, or role reversal is very arousing as it fulfills their deepest fantasy.

But some people feel repulsed, uncomfortable, or resistant to the idea of using a Strap on. This unfamiliarity can create discomfort, especially if sex has always been imagined a certain way. The use of a Strap on may then be viewed as immoral or unnatural : Alpha men may feel that being penetrated challenges their masculinity or makes them appear less dominant. Women may worry that using a Strap on makes them too aggressive or unfeminine.

This discomfort is often based on social conditioning, not on actual physical preferences or facts. Others may avoid or reject Strap on use because they’re afraid of being labeled as “gay,” “dominant,” “weird” or misunderstood/judge by their partner, the society, or even themselves.

The lack of knowledge or experience can also turn off people about the idea of using a Strap on. If someone has never used a Strap on before (or seen it normalized), he/she may not understand its appeal, assume it’s painful or awkward or even think it’s only for specific groups (e.g., LGBTQ+ people).

A person who cannot stand a loss of control during sex will stay away from using a Strap on. The same applies to those who had negative experiences with it in the past (a bad first experience, been pressured into trying it or felt humiliated or ashamed afterwards) and did create a lasting association between Strap on play and negative feelings.

 

Strap on : Keys takeaways

In my opinion, three key factors guarantee a great Strap on experience: The giver's extensive experience in this practice (whether the receiver is a beginner or not), the choice of a quality, well-fitting and comfortable Strap on (a good harness should feel snug but not restrictive), and the abundant use of lubricant (especially for anal play, using a generous amount of lube is crucial). And of course, the use of condoms or washing the dildo between uses, especially if switching between partners or orifices is paramount.

Speaking from experience, I think that whether for pleasure, exploration, empowerment, or play, Strap on use opens up a wide range of sexual possibilities and can be a deeply satisfying experience for all involved. As with any new sexual activity, discussing boundaries, desires, and comfort is essential to guarantee mutual pleasure.

 

Janet – The Velvet Rooms

 

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