15 / 11 / 2025
5 Minute Read

The dildo: Exciting both for men and women…

 

Accessible, adaptable, and deeply personal, the dildo is a very popular thing! A large‑scale European study of 11,944 respondents across six countries found that among sex toy owners, 55‑65% reported using their toys either alone or with a steady partner. Another survey conducted in the U.S. by Ella Paradis reported that 61% of respondents had bought sex toys for both themselves and their partner, and 41% stated they use sex toys for both masturbation and sex. 

Whether used for pleasure, exploration, or connection, the dildo fits into many women and men intimate lives. For many, it’s one of the most intuitive and physically rewarding sex toys available. The dildo is therefore not a taboo subject but an accessory that more than one in two adults owns. In this article, let's learn more about it!

 

Dildo and Sex Toy: What’s the difference?

The words dildo and sex toy are often used interchangeably, which sometimes creates confusion. Let's set the record straight.

Sex toy is a general term for any object or device used to enhance sexual pleasure, either alone or with a partner. It includes a wide variety of products such as vibrators, masturbators, anal plugs, cock rings, and yes — dildos. A dildo is a specific type of sex toy. It is typically a non-vibrating, phallic-shaped object used for vaginal, anal, or oral penetration. To sum it up: All dildos are sex toys, but not all sex toys are dildos.

 

What is a dildo?

A dildo is a sex toy designed to be inserted into the vagina or anus or used for external stimulation during sexual exploration or masturbation. Unlike a vibrator, a dildo does not vibrate on its own (unless it has an optional external motor). It is usually rigid or semi-flexible and is often used to simulate penetration.

The dildo can be used for solo masturbation, in partnered play, to explore different erogenous zones, or as a complement to practices such as bondage or anal play. Some models feature a suction cup at the base, allowing for hands-free use, or a harness for strap-on sex.

A dildo is primarily designed for penetration. It is often made of silicone, glass, or other body-safe materials. A dildo usually comes in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, colors, and materials (silicone, borosilicate glass, metal, PVC, latex, or rubber). Some are very realistic, mimicking the shape of a penis, while others are abstract or stylized for targeted stimulation (such as the G-spot or prostate).

 

What do people enjoy while using a dildo?

The use of dildos in private life is often multifactorial, but the three main reasons are as follows: the solo sexual empowerment, the enhancement of partner play and the curiosity and exploration.

Knowing that you can satisfy yourself and take charge of your own sexual needs without relying on anyone else is a very empowering feeling. Using a dildo give to many of us control over our own pleasure. Solo sexual empowerment helps us to learn what we like — which can also enhance partnered sex later on.

Couples often incorporate dildos into their sex lives for fun and variety. This may include Mutual masturbation or using it on one another, role reversal or pegging, exploring fantasies that may be hard to achieve otherwise. The use of a dildo can definitely strengthen communication, trust, and intimacy between partners.

 

Dildo: In which country is it the most popular?

Lately, I was very surprised to learn that dildos represent around 24 % of the global sex toy market. 

And did you know that Germans show the most interest in using dildos? According to recent research, are strong candidates for high usage of dildos, being the largest single country market for sex toys including dildos. 

Right after Germany, the country where dildo use is most prevalent seems to be the United States as reports show that North America holds the largest share of the global sex toy market, which likely means a high absolute volume of dildo purchases. 

 

Dildo – Who uses it more: men or women?

Apparently, women appear to report slightly higher usage of dildos than men in at least some surveys.

For instance, as a 2017 Canadian study “A cross‑sectional survey of sex toy use …” (Wood et al., 2017) reported that sex toy use is common among women; for example, among the female participants, many reported having used at least one sex toy including dildos.

Men are also using sex toys in meaningful numbers but tend to have fewer product‑types available oriented toward solo dildo use, which may influence reported usage.

When it comes to couples, it is fairly common for them to use sex toys together, and this includes usage that likely covers dildos. Research says that couples who incorporate sex toys into their sexual activity are comparatively more likely to report positive outcomes in satisfaction. 

 

How to tell an escort you wish to use a dildo?

Are you caught in a sexless relationship and would like to book an appointment with an escort and use a dildo during the session with her? Well, the key is clear, respectful, and open communication that emphasizes trust and mutual benefit.

Remember that professional escorts are here to put your pleasure in focus so, you should not be afraid to share your fantasies with them. The more they know what you like and what excites you, the easiest it will be for them to please you. Therefore, keep the conversation centered on your feelings and tell her that you will be curious about using a dildo with/on her. Also, let the independent escort know why you’re interested (enhancing pleasure, exploring curiosity…).

In 90% of cases (if the request is made respectfully and at the right time), the answer will be positive because the dildo/sex toy is an accessory that is an integral part of the escort's activity. In that case, don't forget to ask her if she has a sex toy/dildo with her and what kind it is. It's possible that the sex toy she has available won't exactly match your fantasies. That's why, if this object is an important element of your pleasure, I would advise you to always bring your own sex toy when visiting an escort. You will naturally have taken care to clean and disinfect it thoroughly before and after use.

If on the contrary the girl’s reaction isn’t enthusiastic, thank her for being honest and do not insist. Although it is pretty unusual, not all escorts warm up to the idea of using a dildo/sex toy with a client. Therefore, to be on the safe side, you should always ask first. Indeed, do not assume that because she is a sex worker, she will necessarily be willing to fulfill all your requests... In order to make that time in her company as memorable as possible, you should understand that it is first a two-way conversation.

 

Janet – The Velvet Rooms

 

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