12 / 11 / 2025
5 Minute Read

Did you know that a significant part of adults shows an interest in bondage?

 

Being a very open-minded person, I wasn't at all surprised to discover how many people show a keen interest in bondage. So, one shouldn't judge by appearances... ;-). But what exactly is bondage? Why do people enjoy this practice? Is it more prevalent among men or women? Let's try to answer these questions in this article dedicated to bondage.

 

What’s bondage?

Those familiar with this practice know the answer, but for others, an explanation is certainly needed.

Bondage is not seen as pathology but as one of many expressions of adult consensual sexuality. Bondage refers to the consensual practice of physically restraining a partner—using ropes, cuffs, straps, or other devices. In the adult industry, bondage is practiced creating conditions of reduced freedom of movement, mainly for erotic, sexual and arousal purposes. This consensual restriction of movement could be described as a kink, part of the BDSM spectrum.

Indeed, the term BDSM is indeed an umbrella acronym that stands for:

 

• Bondage and Discipline (BD)
• Dominance and Submission (DS)
• Sadism and Masochism (SM)

 

These are distinct yet overlapping practices that they can exist independently — a person may engage in bondage without dominance, or be submissive without enjoying pain, for example.

 

What do we know about bondage?

There are few scientific studies on bondage, but we still know quite a bit about this erotic practice that attracts many adults.

We know that bondage techniques range widely—from simple restraints like hand‑ties or cuffs to complex rope work. We also know that bondage can be purely decorative (prioritizing visual form, rope patterns, body as art) but can also be purpose-bond (where restraint serves to facilitate or intensify sexual activities). And such as softness does exist in domination, it also exists in bondage. Soft bondage can be described as lighter restraint, less intense, sometimes only symbolic or for novelty.

The reasons why some people enjoy tying others up or being tied up during sexual games are not unknown to us.

For many, bondage is appealing because it engages them with power dynamics plays —such as vulnerability, control exchange, trust and focus. Bondage is seen as a sense of vulnerability and trust between partners, enabling them to explore their emotions in a controlled setting.

Because bondage involves tying a partner up, it does go along with clear consent, negotiation, clarity of roles and safety. To maximize the enjoyment of both partners, effective bondage play will include discussing limits beforehand, agreeing safe words, and ensuring physical safety (especially in rope suspension or complex positions).

 

Bondage: Do women practice it more than men?

Did you know that research indicates that both men and women participate in bondage practices—and the prevalence is relatively close, though there are some gender differences in roles and motivations.

A 2023 international survey found that about 35.6% of men and 38.4% of women expressed interest in BDSM activities (which include bondage). In that same study, among those who had experience: men were more likely to have been in the “giver” or controlling role of BDSM activities (31.7% men vs. 24.7% women) while women were more likely to have been in the “receiver” role (37.2% women vs. 22.6% men).

An earlier Australian study (Richters et al., 2008) found that in the previous year, 2.2% of men and 1.3% of women reported having engaged in BDSM (which might include bondage) at least once. 

When it comes to Switzerland, a 2024 representative Swiss survey found that 46.4 % of respondents (ages 18‑50 in the Canton of Zurich) reported at least one of 13 paraphilic interests (including sadism/masochism) at least rarely. This study does not isolate bondage specifically, so one can’t infer a precise “percentage who do bondage” from this.

What should be taken away from these studies is that interest and participation in bondage (and BDSM broadly) are not exclusive to one gender—both men and women are represented. Both men and women enjoy bondage practices, with no overwhelming evidence that one gender vastly outnumbers the other. Differences are more apparent in roles, frequency, and motivations rather than in whether or not they participate at all. However, studies show that women may report slightly higher interest in bondage, but men often report higher likelihood of being in controlling roles. Prevalence rates vary a lot depending on definitions (fantasies vs actual practice) and sample types (general population vs kink‑community).

 

With whom should you experience bondage?

The answer to this question is not set in stone and depends largely on your interest and experience with bondage. It will also depend on your role in the bondage experience: do you want to be the submissive man/the submissive woman or the dominant character?

In this answer, I choose to take the position of a man seeking a bondage experience, as it seems that in the adult industry, it is the male gender that drives this activity.

If you are new to bondage and/or a submissive man, I recommend visiting a professional. As opposed to an escort girl with no bondage experience, the Dominatrix/Mistress will be able to adapt to your needs, whether you are seeking a soft or hard bondage experience. Such a professional has usually learned basic knots, ties and rope selection, essential for a great bondage experience. Indeed, a professional in that field tend to have gained ongoing learning experience in bondage and the knowledge of the good practices involve in it.

If you are not a beginner in bondage and you are a man who likes to be dominated, choosing to turn to a professional is in my opinion, definitely the best option.

On the other hand, if you are a man who likes bondage but is more dominant, then turning to a submissive girl (with or without experience) who likes to be sexually dominated will certainly be the best option. This also applies to independent escorts. Remember that a woman who is naturally dominant will not let herself be tied up by a man, especially if she has not built a relationship of trust with him. The other piece of advice I would give you is to take it slowly. If you like to dominate sexually, first build a relationship of trust with that girl. Gradually adjust your requests and expectations as the relationship of trust builds. If she is a girl who really enjoys sexual submission (or if she makes it explicit that it's something she'd like to experience with you) and you take it slowly, you can make this bondage experience an ultimate and addictive pleasure for both her and you.

 

Bondage: What should you remember?

Remember that bondage becomes safer and more meaningful when both partners engage in a transparent conversation up front, share their boundaries, and regularly check in while experiencing bondage. When done consensually and safely, bondage is not inherently pathological but rather a legit form of sexual expression.

 

Janet – The Velvet Rooms

 

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