27 / 07 / 2024
6 Minute Read

Trapped in a sexless marriage: What’s the point tying the knot?

 

For those who do read my blog, you may have long understood my position when it comes to sexless marriage. And I know that this opinion coming from a woman is kind of unusual but well… I am not like most woman! Indeed, I have been in different types of relationships, I have experienced sex life in various forms, and I have been evolving in the sex industry for a while now which gives me a bright overview of what getting married does to men, to their status, to their ego and to their sex life.

 

Foreword about the topic of sexless marriage

I am not a man, but I know men well and I understand them very well. And I know women as well as I am one of them and I have been dealing with women for years now…

Before delving into this article, which presents my vision of marriage, I would like to stress that I still believe there is a place for happiness in a married couple just as there is in an unmarried one. There are also many sexless marriages that have turned to be happy unions. This picture of the happy couple who has no sex does not correspond to the norm, but it does exist, and I think it is important to point that out.

I do believe in the magic of ying and yang, but I also know that it is rare, as rare as our chance of winning the lotto. So, while this article applies in the overwhelming majority of cases, there are, fortunately, some rare exceptions. 

This is my honest opinion about marriage that I would like to share with all men (especially those who are not married yet) on this planet: think very carefully before getting married.

 

Why should men think twice before getting married?

Why? Because the good majority (and I mean a high percentage) of marriages are full of disillusionment (on both the male and female sides). Since this article is primarily aimed at men, this is the point of view that is defended below.

When they are married, a time will come when men usually ends up going sexless for months or even for years… Imagine taking care of a woman, paying bills, taking her on trips, buying her gifts, doing all these kinds of things and she will still be holding sex on you. And if she does give you sex, it is a bargaining thing…you must provide some sort of benefits. This is what marriage is about for most men, but no one is going to tell you the true. Who wants a sexless marriage life with no attention and no affection in return?

Most married men end-up being „providers“and if they stop providing, she will have the whole family slowly turning against you (including the kids).

And what about your freedom? After a while being married, on top of having a sexless marriage, you will not even be able to go out whenever you want and spend time with your friends the way you want to because your „significant other“(your wife) holds this time which belongs to you. What you also do not know is that the wife you have just married will change after a while and if she gets kids, she will change even more…

 

Sexless marriage followed by loss of freedom

Married men will rarely tell you this (except maybe your best friends or your peers from the Manosphere), they would rather put on a mask to pretend that everything is OK, but it is not. Married men lose their freedom. They thought that marriage will be this magical esoteric thing, but it is in most cases a very uncomfortable situation.

When the feelings between you and your wife melt, she starts gaining weight and not paying attention to her body and look as much as she used to, but you are still fit and in shape… But you cannot leave her because if you do so, YOU will be the bad guy. She, on the contrary can leave you and divorce for any reasons, at any time as she will not be the one the blame will be put on.

As for you gentlemen, it will be very hard to leave. Indeed, unless you can afford it, you have too much to lose: the house you bought, your resources (a significant part of your salary will go to your wife and kids leading you to having financial problems for the first time in your life), your retirement funds are tied to this woman... Marriage life is not what it used to be and the big issue does not even revolves around sexless marriage. If she divorces you, she is taking the house, the car, the kids, she is taking the dog and probably half of your salary as well, and surely a part of the friends you have in common. Why would you put yourself deliberately in such a fragile position?

 

A difficult way out

Many married men who are not on the top of the sexual market value are secretly living in fear of their wife. They are afraid because they know that that woman can put them in trouble at any time. That is the contract they signed… without knowing that things could end up this way.

She is getting less committed, less interested, she has made of your sexless marriage something usual, but well, you are bound to that contract. You are „chained“ to this situation, there is no way you can win and she knows that. This is why she does not make any efforts to be sexy for you anymore.

I have been the mistress of men who had zero support from their wife. One of them wanted to be an entrepreneur and start his own business and guess what? Instead of encouraging him, helping him morally, being by his side and giving him the support he needed in this new project, she saw it as a risk of seeing her „nest“ being jeopardized. So, she had to down-play his aspirations, she had to discourage him.

None of your male friends will ever tell you this because men keep their mouth shut. They don’t express their feelings so easily, they do not want to appear “weak” but when you get around married men a lot and ask them how their marriage is, here is what they eventually tell you 7 times out of 10: “If I could turn back the clock, I would not do it again”.

Do all unions lead to sexless marriage?

After reading this article, men out there may ask themselves if all marriages face the same type of ending. The answer is of course:  No. However, for the VAST majority, this is what is to be expected. No kidding!

Now gentlemen, you should ask yourself some important questions such as: Do you love your freedom? Ask yourself, if according to your personality, your goals and the way you see life, marriage does worth it?

Married men are scared to tell you about their sexless marriage because they are ashamed to tell you that they made a mistake. Afraid to tell you that they are slowly losing their identity, that they do not know who they really are anymore. Now all they do is simply to "provide".

This is why, more and more men are staying away from a sexless marriage. They choose to remain happy singles while keeping their disposal income, their freedom and options as open as possible, instead of falling into the trap of getting married and taking the risk of having to be in a sexless marriage while losing all the benefits of a happy and healthy sex life.

Gentlemen, consider once more the pros and cons before making that big leap because the wrong decision may have you trapped for years, in a gilded prison.

Janet – The Velvet Rooms

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