Why do successful men pay for sex?

Whether it is within a repressive legislation or a pro-sex worker legislation (as in Switzerland), many men choose to pay for sex. And the more financially comfortable a man is, the more likely he is to choose to pay for sex. Yes! When men become highly successful — financially, socially, or professionally — their situation in the “sexual marketplace” changes so drastically that traditional dating or online dating becomes either expensive, exhausting, or impractical. Then, the option for many of these men is to pay for sex which comes almost naturally and becomes a pragmatic alternative. It isn’t necessarily about desperation or lack of ability — but about the “costs” (time, energy, emotional labor, social risk) that come with dating at a high level of success.

Because their hourly rate or opportunity cost — the value of their time — is high, even a single date can become extremely expensive when you tally planning, commuting, social energy, and the inevitable uncertainty of success. From this perspective, paying for sex doesn't seem so expensive compared to that.

Moreover, the process of building attraction — the “emotional labour” of charm, presence, vulnerability, the back-and-forth, and risk of rejection — can be overwhelming. For many successful men, the reward doesn’t always justify the effort. Indeed, great effort in no way guarantees the start of a possible relationship, or even landing a fleeting date on Tinder.

A wealthy man can afford a pay for sex routine, but it is not only about that.  It’s rather about “having more options”. However, being in the privileged position of a man who has options does not exempt him from dating challenges. In fact, it often introduces new problems such as higher expectations, less free time, more scrutiny, and a narrower pool of “compatible” women whose lifestyles and expectations match theirs.

Too many people think that successful men who pay for sex are losers with no other options. That’s purely a misconception. Years of experience in this industry led me to conclude that many successful, high-status men choose to pay for sex not out of lack, but as a decision motivated by efficiency, convenience, and risk management in the context of their live.

As a woman (whether you are an escort, or not), understanding these dynamics can help you navigate relationships with successful men and better grasp the reasons why they pay for sex.

For these men who are both “rich” and “beautiful,” being “high value” sometimes means being priced out of the typical dating game. Recognizing this, helps the skeptical better comprehend why some successful men turn to escorts and pay for sex.

Against all odds, success can therefore distort or complicate dating dynamics. Money or high social status are in no way a guarantee of emotional stability, love, or even a fulfilling sex life (some of these married men are actually experiencing a sexless relationship, often pushing them to go and pay for sex).

Coming towards the end of this short article, I want to stress that I am not saying that men who pay for sex are wrong or right doing so. In this content, I just wanted to offer a lens through which to understand (while being less judgmental) why some high-status, high-income men might choose to pay for sex. The key answer is pretty clear, and that’s the whole message of this article: successful clients of escorts pay for sex because for them, the traditional costs of dating may simply outweigh the perceived benefits or convenience...

Janet – The Velvet Rooms

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