Some escorts won’t see black men. Why is it so?  

"Sorry but I don't see black men".

This phrase may certainly shock you, but for some of you who are dark-skinned, it is a familiar response coming from an escort. An unpleasant refrain that you have already heard many times.

And yes, many independent escorts do not see black men. They do not hide it and many of them make it very clear in the description of their ad.

Although it may be entirely understandable that we are not all physically attracted to all races, it may be for black men, difficult to accept that an independent escort may reject certain types of clients simply because of their skin color.

I have often been confronted with questions from clients such as:  "Does this Model agree to meet men who are non-white?", "By the way, I’m black. Is it a problem?".

I have always been unpleasantly surprised by the uncertainties of black men customers who preferred to announce their race upfront in order to avoid having to suffer rejection.

Being myself a black woman, this subject moves me particularly. In this article, I will first expose a few reasons why some escorts may have a discriminatory attitude towards black men clients (including Arabs and Indians). I will then share my advice with these gentlemen who feel unfairly excluded so that they can better understand this issue.

Why this "No black men" policy?

Who are these escorts who refuse to see clients of African, Black American, Arab or Indian origin? Among them are Caucasians escorts, Asians but paradoxically, also a lot of black escort-girls.

They justify their position by giving a few reasons for not seeing black men. While some of these reasons may be justified or understandable, others are sadly ridiculous…

* Fear of the Pimp

Escort-girls, especially young escorts are often approached by black men who are wannabe pimps and who want them under their wing. These black men are usually in their 20's and 30's. Escorts are afraid of these types of guys because they are the most likely to want to play the pimp game. Unfortunately, the negative stereotype of the pimp man portrayed on TV is a young, black, drug dealer, aggressive, with no education and with a lifestyle matches with those characteristics. These girls should know that a lot of pimps are white as well and don't necessarily fit the stereotypes we see in the media. This is the case, for example, with the Lovers Boys, who at first glance are far from the image one might have of a pimp. Moreover, a lot of black men are successful bankers, entrepreneurs, pilots, engineers, university professors... Wealthy black elites do exist, and their numbers are growing all over the world. A few of them are even billionaires!  

* The fear of catching a disease

What the hell are you talking about? I've heard this stupid argument several times. It's just confirmed the idiocy of these girls and their low intellectual level. Girls, who themselves do not get tested on a regular basis, even though they work in an industry where regular testing is strongly recommended. You would be surprised to know how many sex workers in developed countries have no knowledge or curiosity to learn about sexually transmitted diseases. It's almsgiving that doesn't give a damn about charity! For your information, on a global scale, statistics show that more than 50% of transmitted STDs result from male-male relationships and heterosexual relationships in sub-Saharan Africa. Why do these girls put all black men in the same basket?

* Fear of the big dick

Blondes are stupid. White people can't dance. All Asians are smart. Fat people sweat all the time. Indians smell strong. Black men have big dicks...

These are offensive stereotypes and usually media perpetuate these beliefs and keep them alive forever.

No ladies, not all black men have a big penis. There are differences in size across every race — short, long, wide and/or thin penises. But, overall, most men fall close to the average lengths, ranging between 14 and 16 centimeters.

The size of a man penis has nothing to do with his race. Individual genes are unique to each person and can influence penis size, as well as hormones and nutrition. Genetic mutations may contribute to penis length and appearance as well.

Prejudices die hard. Faced with escorts who do not necessarily have a very advanced intellectual level or an open-mindedness that one should expect, this kind of state of mind does not surprise me.

Black men: Should you inform the escort of your skin color?

The fact of having to ask yourself this question is simply "disturbing". Why should a black, Indian, Arab or Asian man "warn" of his origins before contacting an escort when this is not being expected from a caucasian man?

Unless it is clearly stated in her ad that she does not wish to see black men, I personally won’t mention it by approaching her to make a booking. Of course, it is at the risk of finding myself face to face with an escort who finally decides not to open the door to me when she realizes that I am a person of color (and she undoubtably has an issue with that). But personally, I feel that I don't have to apologize for being the way I am. On the other hand, it will simply mean that she has not deserved either my time or my money.

However, if you prefer not to take that risk and choose to inform the escort of your ethnicity, make sure to approach her by breaking the prejudices she may have about black men. Here is what I would advise you to do for maximizing your chances of getting a positive response from her:

* During the first contact, choose to write to her rather than to call (in other circumstances, I would advise the opposite). If she has an email address, prefer this means of contact. Watch your writing and your turns of phrase, briefly introduce yourself (age, social status, origin, profession, etc.). Offer to call at her convenience.

* Do not discuss her rates and book at least one hour in her company. Don't ask her for services she doesn't offer.

* Arrive at the date on time and dressed very elegantly and remember to bring her a gift together with her donation (in an envelope) that you remit her within the first 5 minutes of the encounter.

* Always be polite and listen to her need during the date. Go at her pace.

* Finally, thank her for this beautiful rendezvous.

In short: behave like a Gentlemen. Why such an approach which is like walking on eggshells to avoid rejection or disappointment? To sweep away as much as possible, prejudices against black men.

Deconstructing prejudices

Prejudice is one of the main obstacles to improving human relationships. Lightening your weight completely changes the relationship to others. It allows a real contact and makes possible processes of collective intelligence and the valuation of the contributions of each one.

Many independent Escorts have chosen this status to allow them to decide where, how, when they want to work and what type of clients they want to see (conversely, it is perfectly legitimate for a client to be more attracted to one type of escort than to another). No one has a say about these choices which are personal to them. Many of them are very open-minded and tolerant. Others, on the other hand (like the vast majority of the world population) let prejudice dictate their actions.

The latter have more or less relevant beliefs. These beliefs are applied to an entire group regardless of individual differences. These Escorts who do not want to see black men are filled with prejudice, which is natural because it is linked to the functioning of our brain and our life in society. It is therefore impossible to escape it. On the other hand, it is also the primary driver of discrimination, discrimination that sex workers themselves face, on another scale.

Fortunately, some escorts are smart girls and do not fall into the racial/gender discrimination trap as they do welcome all customers as long as they are being treated with respect.

However, we are aware that ethnocentric discrimination is very present among call-girls. To the black men potentially victim of this discrimination, you have two very simple choices. Either you put your ego aside and contribute to the hard work of deconstructing these common stereotypes, or you move on. Which in my opinion, isn't such a bad idea either. In fact, you can't please everyone. In addition, changing mentalities is often an arduous race, sometimes lost in advance. Save yourself unnecessary anxiety and stress. Her time and service certainly don't worth it anyway. Instead, turn to those escorts who accept you as you are : You're spoiled for choice!

Janet – The Velvet Rooms

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