07 / 10 / 2018
2 Minute Read

Vaginismus : What is it ?

Have you ever heard about that word :  Vaginismus?

Probably not... Even myself, a few days ago, I did not know what this word meant... until I met (during my short weekend in Paris) a good friend of mine who actually has vaginismus.

We had not met for months and of course, seeing her again was a lovely time for me. We talked about many different topics and of course, about sex...  She explained me how difficult it was for her to find love... mainly because of her vaginismus problem. That's when I got to know what vaginismus is.

Here is what she said to me : "You know Janet, I don't have to have a sex life like everyone else's to enjoy it." That's where I got a bit confused as, I will not imagine my life without sex...

My friend Aurore has a body which automatically reacts to the fear of some or all types of vaginal penetration. Her vaginal muscles tighten up and she has no control over it. She actually finds sex painful and fears the penetration.

When she has her period, she finds it hard inserting a tampon, struggles to have sex or feel a boring or stinging pain.

Aurore suffers from an involuntary muscle spam that occur during penetration. The tightening of the muscles is what causes the searing pain. The muscle responsible for involuntary contraction is the pubococcygeus muscle, which is responsible for urine control, contracting during orgasm and pushing a baby out.

This condition has a big emotional bearing on my friend's relationships. She feels afraid that partners maybe thought she isn't in love with them or not physically attracted to them (which is not the case of course). She already went through several treatments for vaginismus which include psychosexual therapy, hypnosis and relaxation techniques but nothing worked on her. Aurore even had prescribed vaginal trainers, these are smooth tampon-shaped objects, that come in different widths that make you get used to having something in your vagina. Nothing really worked for her.

Gentlemen do you think that your girlfriend or your wife may have vaginismus? Well, if it is the case, touch her genitals gently so she will get used to your fingers being around her vagina. It will probably take time before she feels comfortable enough to be penetrated with a finger...

When you reach a stage where you want to try sexual intercourse, take things slowly and don't rush anything.

Why? Because painful sex is distressing and can result in the loss of sexual interest, relationship problems and affect your mood...

 

Janet for TheVelvetRooms 

 

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