12 / 01 / 2019
3 Minute Read

Why some women prefer submissive men?

When we hear "submissive man", we immediately think of the sadomasochistic relationships that can occur between two partners. Indeed, some women like to be dominant in this sense, but also in their daily relationships.

What are the reasons why women can be attracted to submissive men? What pleasure do they take in it?

Sexual submission is a common fantasy for both men and women. Some women appreciate being submissive to their partner during sex, but some prefer it when their lover plays the submissive. There is a whole world around sadomasochistic relationships, whether it is occasional games or pre-established scenarios. These role plays are fantasies fulfilled by two (or more) willing partners.

In sadomasochistic relationships where the man is "maid", most often the moments of intimacy take place as follows: the woman is dressed in leather, the man is partially naked, sometimes tied, and suffers all kinds of abuse. A code has been passed beforehand between them so that the woman knows when she must stop the torture because the suffering becomes too unbearable.

There are also male submissions in a much softer sexuality, where the man will only be attached, or will have to obey a few orders from the woman.

 

Submissive men in a daily basis

In the daily submission of the man, the woman can reproduce a maternal pattern. By dominating her lover, she controls him. They are most often "phallic" women, who could be described as castrators because they attack male virility by belittling men all the time, for example. Where some men would not appreciate being constantly humiliated, submissive men take real pleasure in it. Even if they often do not dare to admit it, and sometimes pretend to suffer from it, they seek this type of relationship and always repeat the same pattern with women.

 

Why may a woman prefer submissive men?

Several hypotheses can be put forward about this preference. For example, the impossibility of accessing or taking the "risk" of letting go; in this case, the partner's submission represents control, and the woman's control appears to be the solution. In sadomasochistic relationships, there is an attempt to contain the aggressive impulse or even a desire for "destruction" by linking it to the sexual impulse. It is a solution that is quite functional.

Loving submissive men can also be a desire for reparation and understanding. By making a man experience what a woman herself experienced in a previous relationship, she sometimes manages to understand the pleasure her ex-partner had when he dominated her. It looks like a kind of revenge : "A man made me submit, so now I will dominate men! ».

In a lighter way, it is also possible to imagine that being in a relationship with a submissive man has something reassuring. If a woman has the power over her partner, then it means that she is a strong woman, but this obviously implies also that she is not convinced of it (this "power") herself.

 

Being feminist make some women prefer submissive men

The feminist movement is developing more and more despite a society that remains predominantly patriarchal. Women still have to fight today to get equal pay with men, street harassment is still present, even increasing... And fortunately, women are fighting against this male domination. They are always the oppressed ones, sovereignty is always that of the man, without any concern for the woman.

Being in a relationship with a submissive man can turn the situation upside down. This corresponds to the conception of a male sexuality that allows a certain revenge on what has been going on for too long... By choosing a submissive man, he is at the service of the woman and she finds a kind of satisfaction having him in that position.

 

Janet for TheVelvetRooms

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